I grew up in a world with only men and women. I grew up in a world where colors had a gender. Just like clothes and children's toys and candy at the supermarket. I grew up in a world where my grandparents told me not to pursue higher education because I’m going to be a stay at home mom one day and I would be stupid to be working when I could also live off of my husband. I grew up in a monogamous world. A heterosexual world. A European, white world.
I grew up in a world full of lies that generations of people repeated over and over again so that they wouldn’t have to face the truth.
The truth being that we live in a pretty fucked up world of extremely complex power and oppression dynamics with a slight chance of living a happy and free life that gets put down by peer pressure from dead people.
The knowledge that the human species isn’t divided into only men and women should be the norm by now. Yet for most people it isn’t. Wether you focus on sex or gender, the binary we get taught is not applicable to the reality we live in. Intersex people exist and have been existing probably since the beginning of humanity. You can see that through the inclusion of intersex people in a lot of different ancient cultures such as ancient greek mythology in the form of the god Hermaphroditus (God of Hermaphroditism, Effeminacy and Androgyny) or the Sumerian creation myth dating back more than 4000 years ago. Every year around 1,7% of humans are born as intersex. Therefore intersex is part of the human norm and should be treated as such.
Gender on the other hand is a social construct. It is the idea of what a man or a woman is supposed to be like in a society. Gender definitions vary extremely throughout time and cultures. I for example grew up with two main definition of what it means to be a woman. One was being a woman in Germany, which meant keeping quiet when men speak, being nurturing, friendly, nice, kind and loving. The other was being a woman from Berlin, which meant being loud, assertive, aggressive, standing up for oneself, being strong and „not taking any shit“. So as you can imagine: I was very confused about what or who I was supposed to be, because both definitions negate each other.
But if the same group of people is depicted by hundreds, often contradicting definitions, what is the point of having a definition? What is the point of having gender as a social construct when it crumbles the minute you question it?
But even if we keep gender in our societies, it can never be a binary, because just like intersex people, people with genders outside of the gender binary have always existed and have also been included in multiple cultures over time. From ancient Egypt, some 4000 years ago, in which writings stated that there are three genders to the Hijra in south asian countries 2450 years ago, which was often called the third gender, non-binary and gender non-conforming people have always been a part of the human experience and should be seen just as normal and natural as defining oneself as a man or a woman.
That the human sexual experience is far from only being heterosexual and monogamous should also be seen as normal by now. Yet again, for most people it isn’t. One of the biggest reasons for that being that none of that is taught to us in schools. Since 2018, Scotland is the first and only country that requires LGBTI-inclusive education in all schools across the nation. Other countries like England and Wales are at least requiring LGBTQ-inclusive sex education in all high schools. Those are 3 countries out of 195.
It is fair to assume that at least one LGBTQ+ person sits in every class room (of min. 20 people) in every country all around the world. 7.4 percent of people in Germany identify as LGBTQ+. Those are three in forty people who are not part of the curriculum. Three in forty people who don’t get the chance to learn crucial information for their sexual well being. Then again, the other 37 pupils often don’t get the proper sexual education they needed either. An example for that is the sexual education in the United States which heavily suggests abstinence even though studies have found time and time again that abstinence only education has no effect on the sexual behavior of young people. Comprehensive sex education on the other hand lowers the risk of teen pregnancy by 50% and increased the use of contraceptives.
So why don’t we teach proper sex education to teenagers? Why don’t we include LGBTQ issues in these sex education classes?
The reasons for that are a multitude of very complex overlaying social structures. From the rise of Christianity and with it the implementing of heterosexuality as a norm, to powerful, rich people benefiting from an uninformed youth.
Maybe it is harder to oppress people when everyone recognizes the basis of your oppressive behavior as a made up construct.
All of these topics aren’t new to humanity. Intersex isn’t, non-binary people aren’t, LGBTQ+ issues aren’t, polygamy isn’t. There have always been accepting cultures and not accepting cultures. It is crucial that we strive towards building an accepting culture and breaking down power and oppression structures, because I truly believe that that is the only way we can achieve a true societal well being.
References:
https://www.kff.org/womens-health-policy/fact-sheet/abstinence-education-programs-definition-funding-and-impact-on-teen-sexual-behavior/
https://www.guttmacher.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/pubs/fb_sexEd2006.pdf
https://www.nasn.org/advocacy/professional-practice-documents/position-statements/ps-sexual-health
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersex_people_in_history#Ancient_history
https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2018/10/its-intersex-awareness-day-here-are-5-myths-we-need-to-shatter/
https://nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/Hijra
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